Birthdays kicked down a notch

Perhaps it is the influx of parties during what I like to call the "Birthday Season" that has prompted a revelation. Or, as some skeptics would say "an excuse" to downgrade my children's birthday parties from an all-out bash to an intimate affair that costs less. Perhaps it is my ever present (but happily welcomed) sheer exhaustion that pushed forward this whole change. Who can really know.

Either way, I've decided that because we are lucky enough to be a part of so many awesome birthday celebrations where we can spend time with friends and family- we are going to keep it simple in this house.

At first I felt guilty. Questions swam through my head. What were my kids missing out on? Would they be traumatized as adults from the lack of goodie bags and candy-filled pinatas in their childhood? But as each birthday came and went, it became easier.

Recently I had a discussion with a good friend of mine about birthdays. We both were appalled at the lack of quality time, as moms, we were able to spend with our child on his or her party day. The entire fling was spent running around filling food bowls, topping off party-goers cups and coordinating pizza time, cake time, present opening time, and whatever other activities we had so carefully planned... and then completely missed because we were cleaning up empty bowls, plates and cups while the crowd partied on.

I'm not complaining. For some, this is what parties are all about - and to be honest, I thrived on this for the longest time. I still love throwing a good bash. I adore hosting those close to me in my home and showing them a good time. But in hindsight, I really do miss seeing the look on my babies faces while we sing "Happy Birthday" from the first verse to the last. I crave sharing in the delight of each opened present from the first rip of wrapping paper to the final gleaming smile as the contents are discovered. I miss focusing the day on talking to my precious birthday boy or girl about the day they were born and how excited we were to meet them. Maybe it's selfish but I like the fact that they now delight in a few balloons and a well decorated (but small) cake that, as a special treat, they eat at breakfast time while their brothers and sisters serenade them.

My final hope is that these kiddos will grow to appreciate the meaning in things, like the day of their birth or the idea of giving instead of receiving at Christmas time. I don't want them to always seek instant gratification or adopt "the bigger, the better" syndrome. And so far, it's been a success. The sheer look of happiness on my 3 year old's face yesterday as we quietly celebrated her special day and topped it off with a princess bike (complete with a baby seat for her doll) was enough to tell me that maybe this won't be so hard after all. Oh, and I can finally remember each and every moment of it.