Love and marriage... and kids

Subject of the day: What happens to a marriage when little munchkins invade your life.
Most of us will go through this at some point in our lives. It doesn't last forever, but just long enough to make a real dent in the direction that you, as a couple, will go. It's like Survivor. It's hard, it's tough, grueling for sure. Some people will pull for you, others against you. You do your best not to let yourself get voted off and if you're still there in the end, the prize is amazing. Spending a lifetime with your best friend who has had the privilege of sharing in all of your life's memories. The ability to grow and nuture a family and then watch them follow in your footsteps.
I love my husband. I still have moments when I look at him and I get the excited flutters in my belly and my heart speeds up a beat. I think that's cool. To share your life with someone for almost 6 years and continue to get the "wows" every now and again is no easy feat. Especially when you've condensed what most people do in 10+ years of their life down to the mere 6 that we have. Yep, you know what I'm talking about... kids. Add to that the fact that both of us have moved at least twice, from separate dwellings to our first home and then again to our second. We've gone through crazy financial issues with the downturn of the economy, hired and fired (or lost) more Nannies than you could count (I'd like to think it was not because of us, we truly are nice people... maybe being too nice was the problem). We've unfortunately seen a few deaths in the family, TONS of births, a job change or two and several other misc. stressors that life has brought our way. Above all this, we managed to somehow squeeze in 3 kids who we may not have planned on at the time but couldn't do without. Despite all of this, we're still here. I would, however, like to bring to light a few things I've noticed along the way.
Let's talk about appearance for a second. Do you remember in the beginning when you and your loved one always looked your best? You couldn't even fathom not spending hours getting ready before you laid eyes on each other. Legs and armpits shaved. Hair perfectly styled. Make-up flawless. Enough perfume or cologne that even your neighbor down the street knew you were prepping for a hot date. Clothing impeccable, particularly after you'd tried on 20 different outfits and ended up wearing the first one you picked. Three hours from when you first started primping you are finally out the door with tic-tacs in hand. You are the shiz-nit. Dressed to impress you can barely contain your excitement. You look great, you smell great and you just know this inevitable attraction leading to a long-term never ending and eternally happy relationship will be - you guessed it - G.R.E.A.T.
Fast forward to now. Your lucky if you can get a brush through that matted birds nest on the top of your head, you reek of baby spit-up and that smudge of mascara running down the left side of your face was the only attempt you made yesterday to look half-human for the baby's doctors appointment. Why you've still got it on 24 hours later, I mean really, do you even have to ask? You've had the same pants on for 3 days now (which kinda spells out the whole shower situation, now doesn't it?) and have managed to peel away the crust spots of this morning's spilled eggs and your toddler's snotty nose from the knee section using only a finger nail. MacGyver style. And this is just you. Your husband is pretty much in the same boat only his facial hair has managed to completely cover any evidence of flesh below nose level. You have the same problem, only it's more or less your pits and legs that are struggling to breathe through all of that bush. Hell, if you had the time and patience you could probably even braid it. Hubby jokes about his socks taking on a life of their own and then immediately rips them off to show you and the entire world how proud he is of the stench he's managed to create. Sexy. I know.
It is at this point that I look at myself and then over to dear hubby and realize, we really truly honestly don't seem to care. Oh sure, we notice. How can you not? I wonder to myself if we'd seen each other like this in the beginning would we be sitting here together at this moment? I think it's a gradual process. We let one thing go at a time in a slow process of not caring anymore. Maybe that's what brings us to this point. The point where I can sleep on the couch for a week straight simply because it's easier to get up and feed the baby 17 times a night without the added burden of trying not to wake up my other half who has to work. He knows this has nothing to do with him. I'm not mad. We aren't getting over some crazy knock down drag out fight and one of us has been banished from the bed. We don't take it personally when we somehow finagle taking turns eating dinner while the other rushes around tending to the kids needs. We aren't angry or depressed when not one word is exchanged between us that doesn't pertain to diapers, bottles or poop in a single evening. It's just life. Well, life right now anyway. We make efforts. I leave him notes here and there when I can. He gives me a gentle pat on the back or a quick hug as we pass from room to room cleaning up messes or breaking up fights. At least we try and for that I'm grateful.
Gone are the days of holding in gas or belches and keeping the bathroom door closed at all times. Well, for him anyway. The concept of bringing toilet paper to each other in times of need doesn't even phase us. When he needs more soap from the store he never cringes when I bring him extra foo-foo smelling body wash because it was only $1.99. He just smells like a bouquet for a few weeks and congratulates me for getting such a bargain. The other day he thought he was getting a good deal on hair gel... in toothpaste tube form, no less - and he asks me how it smells. I gag and tell him he reminds me of my Gandpa. We laugh hysterically. It's funny because we are at a point where the fragrance of our hair doesn't have to impress. You haven't lived until you can find humor in these things and each other. Laughter, after all, seems to be what makes the world go 'round.
God bless those little kiddos. Only they could make it possible for their Father and I to look our worst and have breath so terribly funky that the slightest peck on the cheek would knock you out cold and still we see each other at our best. It might only be the inner beauty we're seeing at that moment, but it still counts. It counts the most, actually. I love my kids and my husband. I also love that my children love my husband and he loves them. Just when I think I'm going to lose it he jumps in and takes them for a horse-y back ride. When I almost crush the baby because I'm quickly slumping foward during that 2 a.m. feeding I feel his hand touch my back in an attempt to support me. Likewise, when I can tell he's run out of ideas on how to get the baby to quiet down, I grab her with a smile and say it's my turn to try - even if I'm exhausted. I think it's in those tiny gestures that we can come to terms with feeling like we haven't talked, let alone acknowledged, each other in days. We're speaking, just in our own language I suppose. Now if that doesn't make you go "Awwww!" I don't know what to tell ya. =)