Just put Olivia (a.k.a. Livy) down for a nap and it's only the third try today. She's a mean little booger when she's not feeling well. Guess it doesn't help that I got over zealous in wanting to put together the new dresser we bought for the girl's room and decided the perfect place to construct it was in the middle of their bedroom floor. Yay, go me. I'm full of smart ideas today. Did I also mention there was (please take note that I'm using WAS in it's complete and full meaning here) a rather large bag included of very small nuts and bolts, wooden pegs and other misc. pieces that were probably very important. I can't say for sure how it happened, but in the moment it took me to reach for the Phillip's head screw driver Livy managed to find this bag of goodies, pick it up and make it explode onto the floor. And here you thought I was just over exaggerating when I said "ornery". Of course, I can in no way shape or form blame her for this event. It was I, her 27 year old adult Mother, who decided it was a grand idea to leave this bag within her reach in the first place. It's taken me about an hour, but I'm pretty sure I have most -if not all- of the parts picked up. I'm already having nightmares of a forgotten piece being lodged in my baby girl's throat. Maybe I should go double check just to be on the safe side....
Alright, no other pieces to be found. Back to the story... so while all of this explosiveness of screws and nails is going on, I've also lost my mind just enough to give Riley a large ziploc bag of markers and pencils to draw on the box that this dresser arrived in. You know, doing my part in encouraging arts and crafts in young minds or something like that. So he's carrying along with his drawings when all of a sudden I hear it "OLIVIA! NO! NO!". I go running. Unsupervised children. Markers. OH MY GOD, I left the baby in her rocker at ground level. What the hell was I thinking?! I envision the newborn with caveman-like drawings all over her pretty little round face. I'm in the living room in 2 seconds flat and am positively elated that the baby is unscathed. I'm even more elated to find that Livy has simply stolen a blue colored pencil from her brother and I don't see any evidence of it on the walls or furniture or herself. Thank you JESUS.
I confiscate the colored pencil and put it on the desk and am back with the dresser pieces in no time flat. I've decided I'm just so good at this building thing that I'm going to not only have this dresser built in time to impress my husband when he gets home but I'm also playing with the idea of sorting out ALL of the girl's clothing and putting everything away! Hell, I might even color coordinate at this point! Things are going GREAT!
Yeah, it's usually at this point of my feeling an overall sense of well-being and looking forward to any type of future plan for the day that I get a good ol' fashioned dose of reality. I hear it again "OLIVIA! NO! NO!" only this time it's followed by "OH MY GOD MOM, COME HERE!". Panic. Just pure cold panic goes through me. Before I continue on, let me make note that only half of the dresser pieces are with me at this point. The rest are lying in nice piles in the living room... with the kids... and the markers. I probably don't have to spell it out for you, but I will. I will because I just want you to know the severity of "Mommy Brain" that I've succombed to. This was the beautiful white dresser that my husband and I both agreed would be around for at least 10 -15 years. Okay, so he mostly talked about it being around that long. I just nodded my head profusely and said "Sure!" because I knew that was the only way we'd ever purchase the damn thing and get it home. The dresser that we (well, okay HE) talked on and on about trying to make sure it was the right color and would match with everything else now had blue heiroglyphics all over the large left side panel. I know this because I was busily pushing wooden spoke type things into the RIGHT side panel in the other room. Yup. All those blood pumping endorphin kicking thoughts of "I am woman, see me build!" came crashing down like a freight train. Now the only vision I had was of Ryan coming home and me wondering how long it'd take him to realize the entire two boxes of dresser parts were completely missing. I'd just go store them in my trunk until the time was right and dispose of them in the mall parking lot dumpster or something. Wait, I know! I'd tell tell Ryan that we must have been robbed! Either that or just act like the dresser never even existed. You see, it has nothing to do with the $119.99 that we spent on it, it's more or less the fact that I lost my brain and made it possible for our 1 year old daughter to have access to markers in the first place. Ughhh... it's a cruel cruel world and it just bitch slapped me in the face yet again!
I ran to the dresser piece and without thinking spit right on the drawings (which is so gross, I didn't even think I knew how to spit!) and rubbed as hard as I could with my brand new pink bath robe sleeve that I just got for Christmas. Great, ruin the robe. I guess I wasn't thinking that far ahead. A few swipes and a smile began to spread across my face. Hey, I might have Mommy Brain but I at least had the sense to buy washable markers. I said another "Thank you JESUS" and threw every last one of those damn markers on top of the fridge. Crisis #134 of the day: AVERTED. You'll have to forgive me though, my enthusiasm for building the dresser just isn't what it used to be. I think I'll let Ryan finish this one thank you very much.
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